In the Spring of '74
A telegram dropped through my door.
It came from Ronald Rivers-Moore
Who said "Your days of being poor
Are over: for you'd be bonkers
Not to take a job in Honkers."

Before this story does unravel
I only came out East to travel.
So off I set on journey long
By British Airways to Hong Kong.
Through Thailand, India and Iran
My exciting month-long journey ran.

It may sound like a lot of fun
But pretty soon I was 'on the run'.
Problem was that in my belly
Was a bug I picked up in New Delhi.
For several weeks I felt like sin
But I guess it was good for keeping thin.

When I arrived at Kai Tak
I got off on the worst of tracks.
For between Hong Kong Immigration
And the Kai Tak taxi station
I was robbed of all my money.
'Welcome to Hong Kong', huh, that sounds funny.

Island School, don't take offence,
Was only there for my travel expense.
The staff were smug, the children spoiled,
Though the school itself was quite well oiled.
The kids themselves were hardly naughty
Though they were taught in groups of forty.

By October I was fit and well.
Now to see Hong Kong, sounds swell.
But before I had the chance to do
I was struck down with the Asian flu.
I thought "things will get better soon"
when along came Carmen... a typhoon!

Come November things seemed fine.
It was bright and cool and the sun did shine.
But before you think I speak too soon.
I never had a chance to swoon
For one day in a game of soccer
I was in for yet another shocker.

Now though I cannot name his name
An American in Sixth Form games
Broke my leg below the shin.
For me does someone have it in?
I've had enough, I'm going home.
No longer will I ever roam.

Then Aby-baby said, "Hey Ginger,
You're nothing but a bloomin' whinger.
Don't distress, keep up your pecker.
Things are bound to soon get better."
Plaster's gone, I'm off to cricket.
The Islanders won! I took six wickets.

Suddenly my luck did change.
Asia's delights were in my range.
And as for Island School
How could I be such a fool.
The kids are great, the staff are fine.
The problem was never their's, just mine.

And now that I am feeling stronger
Perhaps I'll stay just a little longer.

- by Chris Forse

First published in The Islander Yearbook, 1997 - 1998. Reproduced here with permission from Chris Forse.

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